Easy on others not on me

Was scrolling through FB posts and saw that some of my FB friends pregnant and nearing end of their pregnancy.

I'm not one who envy nor talk about "envy" but now I do.

How nice if I can carry them till week36..

In fact I won't mind even its earlier by few weeks..

This week they would have reach week28 on Friday.

Their survival rate would be so much better.

The last pregnancy week I took for week25.

Missing them in me. Missing them giving me good morning nudges and kicks..

But I can only blame myself, my body..

For letting them down..

How I wish they still with me... 

Yet they are now with Lord Jesus.

原来眼泪不是夜晚才想落下。

对他们的思念，泪水不知觉就滑过脸颊。

不止夜晚难度过，当是一个人的时候，也很难度过。

Need to find something to diversify my thoughts.. 

Physical pain to numb the heartache.. 

My yearning for them...